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Sholto Crow's Homepage

Posted August 4th, 2008 by Sholto

Welcome to Sholto Crow's Homepage!

Real life is rubbish. Badgers can't talk, cheese doesn't grow on ponds, cars don't have a 'cow' button in them which turns them into a cow and I can't tie my shoelaces with my mind, let alone remember what I was supposed to be writing when I started this. Here you will find inventions which come from the infinitely more interesting unreal world.

 There will be a new absurd invention right here every Tuesday, so pop in once a week for a little visit, I'll get the biscuits and the flippers ready and we can have a nice little chat while we're at it. Do you take sugar?

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From The Inventor's Workshop: Tear Someone A New Asshole!

Posted September 23rd, 2008 by Sholto

Have you heard the phrase “I’m gonna tear you a new asshole”? It’s nice, isn’t it?

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From The Inventor's Workshop: Dog Poo Goes Walkies

Posted September 16th, 2008 by Sholto

Walking your dog just got a lot easier. Having a picnic possibly just got a lot more dangerous.

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Pork Flavoured Toothpaste - Good Idea?

Posted September 2nd, 2008 by Sholto

What you never knew you needed or wanted has just pumped itself into a tube and will soon be sitting on a shelf just above the basin in your bathroom.

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Two Legs Good, Four Legs REALLY Good

Posted August 11th, 2008 by Sholto

The revolution has arrived, at very very high speeds. Just when you got the hang of bipedal movement, along comes another set of L.E.Gs to get you there quicker.

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Jet Bath - Commuter Vehicle For Our Waterlogged Future

Posted August 5th, 2008 by Sholto

Don't be afraid of global warming - Find a way to enjoy it! As the ice caps melt and our race faces its greatest challenge yet - survival in the face of rising temperatures and melting ice caps - one man could be about to save the day...

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The Decoy Face Helps You Avoid Annoying People

Posted July 25th, 2008 by Sholto

Behold the Decoy Face. That’s right, the Decoy Face. This remarkable device is the very first breakthrough in face-to-face avoidance, a trailblazer in every sense.

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