InventorSpot

Brilliant! It started out funny, and ended up being honestly good advice.

Woohoo! I didn't fall into any of the categories!
Great advice ;) going to read about the women now!

Met this man...his brother...his uncle...

Its all too true...your 10 women was also correct tho I suspect there are men with the women characteristics and women with the male characteristics too...it wouldn't be PC to give their proper names!

I am an outraged man who is very P.O'ed about this article. You are nothing but a childish little man trying to cover his @$$ from a previous article by writting this article and continuing your sexist behaviours. This article leads me to beleive that you are nothing but a lonely old man...

Just kidding..I definatly loved both of the articles but since I'm the 4th one to post and no ones been outraged I had to give it a shot.

For all those women that read the "10 women to avoid" and got really mad, but then found this one funny, I am truly disappointed. In this modern day men arn't the only sex that can be called "chauvinistic pigs"

Any woman who was upset by the "10 women to avoid" article were probably only upset because a man wrote it and they were looking for a guy to get mad at. Had a woman writtin the "10 women to avoid" article, they would not have been upset.

Keep up the good writting and I look forward to reading about the "Top 10 In'Law Families To Avoid" Haha

I just wanted to point out, that you spelled Neanderthal wrong!

We have corrected it.

Michelle 

10 Guys but no beer, remote controls, golf clubs, sports cars, or pretty babes in any of the pictures?? These aren't "real men"--but if you look closely, you'll see they're in dis-guys.

(10) Men Who Are Always Pissing On Everything?
--this man has an overactive bladder and is trying to get a grasp on his pea-ness (which, much to his girlfriend's dismay, is much harder than it looks)
--he should probably see a urologist, but he just doesn't have the balls. Instead, he has decided to take his 2 inches elsewhere--to the street--to get relief

( 9) Men Who Are Damaged And Like It?
--actually, that's the product of a very bad toothsome that turned into a threesome: Kermit the Frog, Gumby, and The Pillsbury Doughboy
--it goes without saying that they took turns riding on Pokey
--the offspring pictured has yellow facial skin because he is called John Duss

( 8) Men Who Love Sports Way Too Much?
--that's the "Til Death Do Us Part 3,2,l Countdown Shirt"
--the "3" indicates that he is starting to have stomach pain (similar to PMS cramps) from all the nagging. He is fed up with "you know who"
--the "2" indicates he can hardly keep abreast of all the changes "you know who" made him undergo. The "2" is more than gut-wrenching
--when the sharp, pointy "l" is placed on top of the 2 & 3, the guy totally loses his head and is no longer able to cope--he "accidentally" nods off to a permanent sleep via a self-inflicted blow to the Vegas nerve (what happens there stays there)
--the man is pointing his "l" toward heaven and smiling because he knows he is only l step from being put out of his misery

( 7) The Man Who Thinks He Knows You?
--it is well documented that Freud didn't smoke marijuana--he snorted cocaine and could not control his own Id (but he has been known to occasionally mix a pretty mean crack-pot pipe)
--a largely unknown fact about Freud is that he suffered from "pussy envy", which is subconsciously revealed by his hairstyle and constant searching for more crack
--he is wearing sunglasses so that his elderly mother won't realize that he is ogling her and really has the hots for her, a condition known as "Oldipussy"

( 6) Men Who Are Prettier Than You?
--GOTCHA!! That's the new wave Hillary Skank socking it to you. (Don't worry, you'll get over it....Boys Don't Cry.)

( 5) Men Who Think They Are Better Than You?
--somehow, this never got leaked to the National Inqueerer despite the picture having been e-lewded on the internet. The following was not shown in the PG-rated movie since it is an X-rated extended version:
--Drew Verrywhore was playing with E.T. one day and discovered that his neck wasn't the only thing that expanded--his thing expanded whorizontally when she pulled it out. Innocent play led to a brief foreign affair with E.T. and this allegedly is their offspring, Al E. It--half Caucasian and half Alian, known as Caucalien
--When Director Stephen was spotted in the city and asked if this is true, he said he wasn't going to be a Squeelburg, but the story is absurd since he knows for a fact that Verrywhore had been romantically involved with Shia LeBeout at the time (perhaps his eyes and facial features?)
--You can decide with story is more plausible, but Al E. It does have on a straightjacket because he hears voices ("phone home, phone home") and is obsessed with digging holes (symbolized by the big round buttons he must have on his straightjacket and all other shirts)

( 4) Men Who Are Too Paranoid?
--that's the remodeled spherical safety seat that uses octopus legs as suction cups strategically attached to the car's interior for more effective balance and protection during rollovers
-shown is the result of its first crash test. Since a child or other dummy couldn't be used, they borrowed the Jolly Green Giant's great-grandson, Pea-ter, since they knew that he would stay in the pod and--in the worse-case scenario--would only become a split Pea-ter (note the band-aid on his cheek)

( 3) Men Who Refuse To Grow Up?
--oddly (and sadly), that is famous country singer Tammy Wynette
--since she is now old enough to be a grandmother, she tried to dress up in drag and sing while riding a motorcycle in hopes of winning a cross-country singer Grammy award

( 2) Men Who Think Only With Their Sides
--these are the first same-sex couple action figure dolls (obviously, clothes are not included, nor are batteries because the action figures are on acid)
--since regular combat boots are made for walking, the men are wearing customized cumbut boots which are especially designed for bending (as are the large top leg joints) so that you can see them in "real" action
--if you look at the picture, it is easy to tell which one is entering from the rear

( l) Men Who Are Cruel?
--if you open your mind, open your mind, you will make a Total Recall: it's amusetant, Kuato's newborn daughter named Marshanne
--it is kind of hard to stomach, but now Kuato and his wife have two kids to feed--and, no, they didn't planet

Yanno, there isn't a man alive that doesn't fit into at LEAST 3 of these catagories, if not more. Men will be men, don't encourage woman to change them.

I read both your pages,
Liked both of them.
Keep up the good work.

(10) ..I need your plug to stop this leak
( 9) ..look at my naughty knot!
( 8) ..may I please get ONE word in?
( 7) ..when was the last time we had sex?
( 6) ..take me!
( 5) ..I'm dying for your affection
( 4) ..let me see your octopussy!
( 3) ..my bike is named "Woody" after my _______.
( 2) ..will you help us make a sandwich?
( 1) ..I'm feeling a little devilish...should I whip out my tail?

Anytime you want to sub in for me, you are welcome to.

I ahd alot of time with coming up with some nice commentary but this is a PG site.

Hahaha..

Sad but true. Loved it. You should make a wallet-sized print out to keep ;)

...It's strange isn't it? You can poke fun at men and they'll laugh, however, poke fun at the women species and they get all Nazi on your arse. I have to agree 100% on the women list thing, though. I've worked for some hellish, control-freak people who have all been - surprise suprise - women.
..Before y'all start sending me hate mail beginning with 'Ohmygosh liek you bigotted chuavanist male pig' I'll have you know I am in fact, a chick.

I didn't realize all the fan and hate mail I was getting on the second page. Some great comments there so I will see you on that page.

Amused and Bemused
AmericanInventorSpot.com

Hey All:

Thanks for all the comments. LOVE THEM and LOVE YOU FOR WRITING THEM ...BOTH GOOD AND BAD.

My favorite comment so far is from you Joey. Hysterical.

Yeah, isn't it interesting that I write an article (which frankly I think is really right on) and I practically get death threats (not so much on our site but on other forums linking to my article), but I write about men and not a peep of complaint.

Either the women just complain alot (hahahahahaha) or men are such jerks, everyone is surprised I am being so nice.

Well, I need some ideas for future articles so if you want me to write on something, let me know.

My next one is going to be so darn good.

10 Best Ways Tell Someone To Piss Off,...or something in that vein. (I am cracking myself up just thinking about it.)

Tell me what I should write about next?

Amused and Bemused
AmericanInventorSpot.com

I just wrote in the comments on page 2 that I am really excited about my next article which will be something like

10 Best Ways to Tell Someone to Piss Off or something like that? It's gonna be great, I hope.

Anyway, can you join us on the second page and give me ideas for what to write about next?

I hear we got a new Featured Blogger just joining us (Christian) and he's hot on my tail, so I have to come up with some better stuff.

Thanks for all the links and comments,

Amused and Bemused
AmericanInventorSpot.com

10 Ways to Shut Someone Up
10 Ultimate Insult Gifts
10 Things to Never Give a Teenager?

Michelle

(10) Guys like this do piss on everything and anything--including their girls, and they'll do it in public. They typically have aneuresis and may sleepwalk. Although they won't help with most housework, they often are willing to wash their own sheets.

( 9) That's the kind of guy who is wrapped too tight and, like a constant toothache, is a real pain to be around or tolerate. He is always picking fights and everyone he is around would like to give him a root canal or a teething ring so that he'll get rid of the damn boxing gloves.

( 8) That's the meek and dense type, who waits to be called on but never voluntarily joins into a conversation. He looks rather normal, but is very immature. (What other adult man can only count to three but is still very proud of it?)

( 7) That's the charming but evil sociopath. He knows how to dress and engage in impression management, but he is cold, callous, and unable to show true feelings, especially love. He looks smart and sophisticated, but he'll secretly wipe out your savings account and disappear before you realize that all of your money and possessions are gone.

( 6) The male model may get women's attention, but he is very gay. The "man" in this picture is also a male prostitute who is quite diseased. He may bring you flowers, but that is because his real boyfriend is out of town and/or otherwise unavailable.

( 5) This is the super shy, 40-year-old virgin who turns white when he is in public and/or sees an attractive (or even ugly) girl. (All the blood goes to one part of his body, making him look anemic, but he is really ready to explode.) He has been his own best friend since puberty, but might be able to find the girl of his wet dreams.

( 4) That's the groper who just can't keep his hands off of several women at the same time. He thinks he is cute and irresistible to women, but all women wish he'd jump off of a bridge and into a lake or go at least 6 feet below their "see level".

( 3) That's the all talk and no action "easy rider". He's the kind who is always bragging about all his cars ("my Porche is in the garage"), money ("it is tied up at the bank"--meaning he hasn't robbed it yet), motorcycle (which is actually a model toy or so old it doesn't even start), and sexual conquests (so far, only neighborhood kids). He is showoffish but has no worthwhile possessions. In short, an arrogant loser.

( 2) This is the covert gay or bisexual guy who has a partner in the closet but is always on the prowl. He might not look or act like a dick, but that is exactly what he is.

( 1) This is the pathetic guy who was physically abused as a child and is now in an abusive relationship--but he is still the victim. He won't fight back or complain to anyone since he was mistreated all his life and thinks he deserves it.

...add two more to each and make calendars! Great stuff!

Rock on, dude.

Although I loved this article, since reading it a dark cloud has loomed over my head. When reading the last comment about "Guy #1" I burst into a tearful laughter when you said "I mean in the big kick in the nuts kind of pain." Lord, am I a bad man?

Top 10 Men You Need to Avoid

1. Guy with kids in seven states and court-ordered alimony deductions from all his paychecks. Just when you think you've heard about all his children you discover there's yet another in another state. You also discover his entire family hates him because he convinced them to loan him thousands so he could write "his novel," but instead just disappeared for a while and then later pretended nothing had happened when his family asked what became of the funds. Has a handful of semi-creative friends who allow him to hang around the periphery so he can feel like less of a loser.

2. Chronic-masturbating porn-addict guy with huge cardboard box duct-taped shut in the back of his closet that, one day you open out of curiosity and discover is full of videos from "Girls Gone Wild" or that have the term "Back Door" in the titles. Then you find some of his home-made videos with his skanky ex-girlfriend (who is now in rehab) and realize that there's fresh hand lotion smudged on their cases.

3. Guy who is always wants to go to musicals or help you shop for decorations; pretends not to be interested in "Project Runway" and then starts reacting more to it than you do. When talking excitedly you realize he has a pretty severe lisp. Wants very badly to get married and is particularly interested in your dress and the varying shades that are available for chiffon.

4. Guy who gets a really weird face during sex, sort of cross-eyed and serious, and very very quiet. Later that night you hear him muttering the name of an ex-girlfriend who dumped him while sobbing like a wounded animal.

5. Stoner guy who calls himself an "artist" and never produces any art other than some a ceramic big-eyed face thing, and the same damn obsessively detailed psychedelic designs over and over. Accidentally burns your childhood stuffed animal by using it as an incense holder. Then tells you he'll take you out to dinner to make up for it, and you end up at an Olive Garden and he asks you to split the bill.

6. Guy who pretends to listen and then always turns out not to know key details of what you told him (including names of your best friends, the fact that your father raped you and killed your mother, etc.) Then says, "Oh yeah! I knew that! Sorry, long day at work!" to cover for himself.

7. No-personal-hygiene guy with bad breath, same socks for two weeks, nicotene stains in his underwear that litter the floor, hairs coming out of nose, weird collection of stains on his bedsheets, months worth of dishes buildup in the kitchen, orange/brown buildup on floor in front of his toilet... Then he expects you to sleep over.

8. Super-aggressive guy who gets into racing, road-ragey situations while you're in the car with him, flips people off, plays loud music, accelerates and makes sharp turns, smokes cigarettes with the windows rolled up, then acts like you're being a wimp when you start to become nauseated. Plays loud music at home too, lots of Nine Inch Nails and washed-up punk bands that for some reason he still thinks are expressing something important on behalf of his psyche.

9. Super-collector guy who very carefully collects Star Wars figurines, die-cast metal cars, vinyl records, comic books, fanboy DVDs and other useless junk that you're not allowed to touch let alone enjoy (not that you would). Has his own e-Bay business and squirrels away the profits to upgrade his computer with the latest dual-core processor so he can play Oblivion all night. Promises you he'll take you out somewhere the next day but he sleeps in till 2 p.m. in the afternoon because he watched the sun come up while playing multiplayer Call of Duty and eating frozen burritos that make him fart like something died inside of him, all the while listening to his collection of rare Japanese animation soundtracks that inevitable feature a coy girlish voice saying, "Moy moy."

10. Immature premature ejaculator guy with male-pattern baldness and a closet full of old clothes from the days when Target was just getting started.

Since the crazy dudes will eventually meet the loony chicks and "tie the knot", how about a list of the "Ten Worst Wedding Gifts" that you could give them?

Well I dont know why women got pissy about the first post of "10 types of women to avoid"... I read both and thought both were funny, well thought out, and honest. I think it was good advice.

First of all I'm a women and I consider myself to be a feminist but I found nothing wrong about your first article, those types of women should be avoided I know I wouldn't want to be friends with any of them.

I luv it!! If our parents and schools would teach this to our children then maybe the world would be a better place. Then again the truth hurts so only the humans that really want to break the cycles of dysfuction will use your articles as a tool to a better life.

Well after this article,there is not going to be too many of us men left...
Very funny stuff...

This is very depressing, negative...stuff. As if I were not self-conscious or defensive already. But I am glad I read it, though I don't really fall into any of those listed. I am surprised to not see THE CHEAPSKATE listed, which is what I definitely am. Oh well now I feel like I could go out & mingle a little...and maybe even score a piece of cherry pie! :9

That isn't something a "cheapskate" is likely to get for free (or by "scoring"). You'll be lucky to get one date--you know, the hard, dried, lousy fruit that no one else wants.

To whomever is under the impression that all men fall under at least three of these categories, you've been spending too much time on college campuses and in bars. REAL men don't fall into any of these categories, and I have several thousand readers to back me up on that, as will their wives...

Men everywhere are awakening to the fact that good women like real men who can make decisions, make them laugh, and not wuss out every time she gets a little testy. It's the display of confidence, leadership, adventurous attitude, and sense of humor that women are looking for, but men aren't changing for women, they're changing for themselves, because being a real man is fun and rewarding, very unlike being any one of these ten archtypical losers that our host has so accurately described. I can't wait to see what he wrote about women!

Well done, Maestro...well done indeed!

From #10: "...submit their whipped butts to taking you out or holding your purse as you shop, just to stop your fussing." This sounds damn piggy to me.

I enjoyed your "10 Men to Avoid Dating"... Such examples of the male species don't warrant the title of "men"... rather they are still "under construction" hopefully on their way to evolving, but otherwise stuck.

Confidence, leadership, an adventurous attitude and sense of humor is irresistibly sexy and manly.

Thanks for the witty write. I enjoyed it immenselly :)

o_O..ya i read both articles...i just want to point out this irony...you claimed that "all women are royal pain in the butt" and said "my opinionated wife..." I mean seriously, you called yourself a writer of a "brilliant" article, but didn't warn us about you being a hypocrite. But whatever. Instead of thinking of myself as a femiNazi I like to think of myself more as an astute observer who realizes that some (note how i used the term "some"..very realistic and not judgemental at all) men need to spend more time at a psychiatrist's clinic than in front of a computer screen typing nonsense. And no...don't think im sayin this because im one of dose women you've pointed out, cuz im still haven't reached adulthood (so how cud i b a woman? ..you can tell by da way i write...don't worry, although the grammar may not be admirable, i think the context is great.)

Excellent commentary. Definately worth the read - looks like I've got some 'me work' to do! Thanks for the insight.

Excellent commentary. Definately worth the read - looks like I've got some 'me work' to do! Thanks for the insight.

If you had just written the first article, I would've laughed my ass off just the same. This one makes me think you're going a little hard on the guys actually. I must be against my sex =o

Hello Baby girl, read this and comment.

Please revert,

Yours

Ajanaku Abiodun Ayotunde

(Texas, USA)

I agree, Men are pigs, but we wouldn't have it any other way

http://www.kidsolo.com 

You made alot of sense to me with both articles. I think anyone who takes offense to either are simply too emo. lol Or, like you said, they do not wish to acknowledge the fact that it describes them perfectly. With the pretty boy thing, I believe that women should stay away from them anyways... They are most likely gay and using you as a cover-up for it or they chose not to come out of the closet. hahah.

The one thing you missed on here, though, that I was disappointed.... was that you forgot the number one BIGGEST problem. Mommy's boys and Daddy's girls. They are looking for a replacement Mom or Dad, and not interested in a real romantic relationship. They want you to feed them, cloth them, take care of them. Nagging and nagging and letting you do all the work.

Than there is the problem of the constant debatist.. He's all into politics and if you try and talk to him about it, he'll get all pissed off because you do not think the same way as he does. Whom also is surprised when you get upset because he said something extremely mean..

There's soooo many to watch out for, with both genders. And they both are inclined to do the same as the other. It's unfair to say that one does this and the other doesn't.

The guy who wants to talk sex all the time...... but can't actually do it. XD

I'm going to stop now. I am boring you with all my blabbering. I hope you have a good day, and don't worry about the a-holes who take offense by this. I've gotten so many death threats and hate emails, myself, that I've accustomed myself to simply deleting them.

After reading through some comments, I think it's hilarious how there's next to no complaining from men about this article, but that a lot of women got their panties in a bunch over the "10 Women" article. Fun times.

So for all the women out there, if you avoid all these kinds of men, well, you will just have to settle for another women then. Good luck.

Men usually fall into one of the ten categories listed above. Its sad, but true. So basically women would have to avoid all those men. If thats the case then  what are women left with? Gay men? or perhaps just go lesbian like most college girls do on repetative failed relationships?  You decide.

I read both your articles on the women and men that one should avoid when dating. BOTH are brilliant!! I couldn't agree more with you. I am a woman who can easily tell when someone is being sexist, but i would have to strongly disagree with anyone who says that you are being sexist. you are stating pure fact, and you are not making derogatory statements. I want to thank you for writing your articles, because when it comes to dating I definitely could use advice when trying to figure out who I should keep around and who I shouldn't. Thank You.

Your article about men to avoid rings so true concerning several guys on my campus and in my life. I'm actually glad you did make that other side to it so I can avoid any of those mistakes at all costs. I love the dolls, they're really funny.

I'm number 9 so i relate to your article. All the chicks leave me cos i'm 'damaged'. =P

OK, not a bad read, even with the sexist remarks.

Geezzzz..I think I've actually DATED two of these guys, and MARRIED another....

Thanks for the validation, thanks a lot.

There are lots of men who dont fall into any of these categories..thank God.

Wy do I have to add 15 and 2 say this?

10 inventive ways to get revenge on a boy/girlfriend
10 ways to turn down someone
10 wedding songs to avoid like the plague
10 ways to get out of doing the dishes/ironing
10 pick up lines that will never work, don't try them
10 dresses the women will wear to make men leer

good luck with you next post!!!! :)

I wrote something similar about 2 years ago... sort of a personal composite of all the men I've dated. It was 40 pages. haha. Way to sum up everything for me in just 2.

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can we know what type a person you are and your husband? or you didnt put your self in the list?

We all need to be completed as human beings, some they are, some there not and if you think you are the one completed then give it a try to make others complete (husbands/wifes/lovers) and of course if they dont change to the right direction.. put your foot down and stop it!